MAY: FAKE SUMMER...REAL COMMITMENTS 🌻😭

Welcome to a new month, Magnets. May is here. And a busy, exciting month it is.

Now listen. May out here cosplaying as summer.

The flowers are showing out. The sun is finally clocking in for full shifts. We are getting some vitamin D up in here. It is giving renewal. It is giving rebirth. It is giving brunch.

But for those of us with autoimmune diagnoses... May is FAKE SUMMER. The weather flips on us. The pollen acts like it pays rent. The body is still buffering from April.

And the calendar? The calendar is not faking anything.

Mother's Day is real. The birthdays are real. The brunch reservations are real. The prom send-offs are real. The "are you coming this year?" texts are real. The expectation that we show up cute and grateful is real.

Let me be honest with y'all. My May is STACKED. My husband's birthday is in May. My mom's birthday is in May. My best friend's birthday is in May. And THEN, like a cherry on top of an already towering sundae, Mother's Day shows up wanting cards, brunch, and a curated post on the gram.

Too much for my nervous system. Truly.

So if your May is also stacked with feelings, faces, and forced cheerfulness... pull up a chair, Magnet. Fake summer is asking real things of us. Let's talk about how we answer back softly.

Why Mother's Day be asking for so much?

Even the idea of Mother's Day asks a lot of us. The commercials start in April. The aisle at Target gets a whole pastel makeover back in March. Every single brand wants to "celebrate the moms in your life" while we are over here trying to remember if we took our vitamins this morning.

And let's not act like the vibe is the same for everyone:

• Some of us lost our moms and the day still feels like a bruise that never finishes healing

• Some of us have moms who are still here but the relationship is... complicated. Like, "draft the text three times before you send it" complicated

• Some of us ARE the moms, moving through the ONE day they must acknowledge us while trying to look grateful for a card and wondering when OUR rest is coming.

• Some of us chose not to be moms, and the day reminds us of every well meaning person who keeps asking..."so you've never wanted kids?"

• Some of us are 17, watching the women around us carry it all, and quietly wondering if we signed up for any of this just by being born a girl.

  
  

We see all of you. Every single configuration. There is room for all of it in this Magnet community. You are not weird, broken, or ungrateful for having a complicated relationship with the second Sunday in May.

Now, let's talk about your nervous system

(Because it has been talking to YOU)

Here's where I'm going to joyfully and lovingly call us out.

We treat Mother's Day like an obligation we just have to push through. Like, "I'll rest after the brunch, after the call, after the flowers, after the photo, after the post."

Meanwhile your nervous system is over there like... "Ma'am. Sis. WE NEEDED A NAP TWO ENGAGEMENTS AGO."

Our autoimmune systems already work overtime. We do not have a lot of margin for emotional flooding stacked on top of social obligations stacked on top of pastel pressure. So when your body asks for the couch and the heating pad on Monday... it is not because something is wrong with you. It is because your body was paying attention to ALL of it.

A hard body day is not a failure. It is information.

Say it with me one more time for the people in the back: A hard body day. Is not. A failure. It is INFORMATION.

Honor the heavy

(But don't unpack your bags there)

Mother's Day can feel heavy. Like I said up top... I FEEL YOU. ME TOO.

Honor the heavy. Name it. Sit with it. Cry in the car if you need to. (My car has seen things.)

But don't unpack your bags and live in the heavy. Because there is always a JOYful corner of the room... it might be small, it might be quiet, it might be just one Magnet who texts you a meme at the right moment. But it is there. You just gotta look for it.

Become a seeker of soft. A Philosopher of Joy. Priorotize your love for life.

A few SOFT ways I'm surviving Mother's Day and the Month fo May in general...

(Steal Freely. Truly.)

Listen, I am not perfect. I show up in Joy, though I have hard days too. This is not a wellness overhaul. These are just things that help me come back to myself when May is loud.

🌻The Two Minute Pause

Set a timer for two minutes. Sit. Breathe. That is the whole instruction.

No journaling. No app. No "doing it right." Just two minutes of nothing.

If your body gets loud under pressure, do this BEFORE the brunch, the call, or the flowers arrive. Get your nervous system to a soft place first... not after the day has already wrung you out.

🌻The Permission Sentence

Say this out loud, in the mirror, with your real face... "I am allowed to feel exactly what I feel today. "If you cry, you cry. If you laugh, you laugh. If you go numb, you go numb. ALL of it counts as honoring the day. Mother's Day does not require you to perform anything for anybody, neither does any of the other days this month.

🌻The One Witness Rule

Pick ONE person to be honest with this month. Not the whole family group chat. Not your boss on Monday. Not the gram. Just ONE Joy Magnet or Joy Guide who knows your real story and will not flinch when you say "today is hard." Text them. Voice memo them. Call them at 11pm if you need to. One witness is enough.

🌻The Body Reset (My Personal Favorite)

After the day's events end... give your body something gentle. A warm shower. A heating pad. Ten minutes of feet up against a wall. A cup of tea you actually sip slow.

This is not a luxury. This is a return to baseline. You earned it just by showing up.

A note for the mothers reading this

If you ARE a mother... and especially if you are mothering through autoimmune disease... we see you, too. You are allowed to ask for what you need on Sunday. A nap counts. A real meal counts. A quiet hour counts. You do not have to perform gratitude for the macaroni necklace if your body is asking you to lie down. In 2026, we must teach less performance and people pleasing and more honest communication and boundary setting.

Your softness teaches them softness. Your rest teaches them rest. That is the whole inheritance. The whole thing...Also, Happy Mother's YEAR! You're a mom all year around.

MAY (pun intended) this month bring you Joy...

May is going to keep faking summer. The birthdays will keep coming. The pastel commercials will keep airing until the 11th, then starts the father's day pressures. The commitments are going to keep being real. We cannot edit the calendar, no matter how many group chats we mute.

But we CAN choose how we show up to it. With more pause. More permission. More tea. Less performance. Less proving. Less explaining ourselves to people who do not have autoimmune bodies and will never understand.

Speaking of tea... if you want to spend a Saturday in a circle of Magnets who already get it, come sip with us at Grati-Tea on May 16. No agenda. No performance. Just rest, gratitude, and a warm cup in your hand.

RSVP for Grati-Tea here🫖

Until then, Magnets... be SO much softer with yourself this Sunday than you think you need to be. Honor the heavy. Then go look for the JOY.

We've got May. We've got each other!

With Joy always, MS-ing Around! 🧡🌻