GRACE is a SOLO RACE.

Welcome to September. Another month facing what must be faced...but doing so in Grace.

GRACE in a Solo Race

Nobody hands you a bib for this race. There is no starting gun, no crowd, no water station at mile two. But most of us are running it anyway. It is the race against the timelines we set for ourselves, the goals we swore we would have reached by now, the version of our lives we drafted before our bodies got a vote.

The timelines we race:

I know the math because I have done it at 2am.

By this age, this career.

By this year, the organization at this size.

By this season, the body that looks like this...

Those plans were made by a version of me that never asked my body for permission, and an autoimmune disease has a way of rescheduling things without checking your calendar first. Here is what I am learning: grace is not lowering the bar. Grace is honest accounting. The goal is still the goal. The timeline was always a guess. How many things have you planned even before your diagnosis that went far beyond the scheduled date? I can use both my hands and feet to count mines. So many things.

Grace with your energy:

Living with an autoimmune disease means your energy is a currency that reprices itself daily. Some mornings I wake up rich. Some mornings the account is overdrawn before my feet touch the floor, and no amount of discipline can negotiate with that.

Grace with your energy means spending what you actually have instead of what you planned to have, and doing it without shame either way. Pacing is not surrender. Pacing is strategy. Rest is part of the work.

Grace between two worlds:

Then there is the balancing act nobody warns you about: the external realities and the internal state. The rent is due, the specialist is booked out three months, the inbox is full, and the world moves at full speed whether you're on board or not. Meanwhile, inside, you are trying to protect something softer. Your JOY. Your peace. The part of you that refuses to be reduced to a diagnosis and a to do list. Those two worlds argue. Grace is the bridge between them. You are allowed to hold hard facts and a soft heart at the same time. This is part of being human.

Why joy matters, and why grace is how you get there:

I do not preach Joy because it is cute. I preach it because it works. I preach it because I use it every day to save myself, and the research keeps agreeing with me.

Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson calls it broaden and build: positive emotions literally widen how we think and, over time, build lasting resources like resilience, connection, and better health habits. Joy is not a break from surviving. Joy is part of how we survive.

Grace matters for the same reason, just from the other direction. Researcher Kristin Neff has spent years studying what happens when people treat themselves with compassion instead of criticism, and the pattern is consistent: less anxiety, less depression, more motivation... not less.

When we berate ourselves, the brain responds like it is under threat, and the stress response climbs. When we offer ourselves compassion, the nervous system settles. And for those of us in autoimmune compromised bodies, that is not abstract.

Researchers keep finding links between chronic stress and inflammation, and most of us do not need a journal article to confirm what a hard week does to a flare.

So no, grace is not the opposite of ambition. Grace is what makes ambition sustainable in a body that keeps its own schedule. A settled nervous system is simply easier soil for joy to grow in.

The grace I am giving myself:

I want to be honest with you, because that is the whole point of this community. I am out here trying to build something of real value for all of us, and some days it overwhelms me. Some days I am the founder with the vision, and some days I am a woman sitting in her car finding her joy before she can walk inside and talk about it.

So I am practicing what I hand to you. I meditate daily. I let some timelines be guesses. I remind myself that joy is a choice made with intentionality and boldness, day after day, and that choosing it on the hard days counts double. I hope you can feel the grace I am giving myself even as I write this. 

A race with grace built in:

On October 3, we are putting all of this on pavement. I’ve decided to celebrate my 45th birthday with our community. The Founders 4.5K Walk/Run/Roll is the only race I know of where the course was designed around grace. Multiple tiers, so you choose your pace and your distance, you can turn around at any point, and that's still a WIN. Walk buddies, real people assigned to support you as you walk, run, or roll. A catered celebration at the finish line, because Joy is the point. Nobody moves alone at this thing, and nobody is timed against anyone but their own heart. Come race with us, at whatever speed your body offers that day. Afterwards, we will eat, listen to the DJ, and be in JOY and communtiy.

Come and celebrate my 45th trip around the sun as I hold our community in my heart with every beat. Register or build a team here: givebutter.com/founders45k

Joy is Chosen. Practiced. Every Day.

Joyful Magnets, we got us.

With Joy always, (Kellye)

MS-ing Around! 🌻✨